Why can't the child control their anger?

A child's temper tantrums are a normal part of their development. This is largely due to their lower frustration tolerance and their feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions. What causes these tantrums? How should you respond to this situation on a daily basis?

What the video tells us

Four-year-old Charlie is angry: she screams, cries, and hits her sister. Her father takes her aside.

Why was this situation filmed?

This everyday situation helps us better understand the difficulty for a child of this age in managing frustration and anger.

Tell me… why can't the child control their anger?

Temper tantrums are the result of an inability to manage an emotion, which is normal at this age. The younger the child, the more difficult this control becomes. The frontal lobes of the brain, the area responsible for emotional regulation, develop gradually throughout childhood and adolescence: this means that during their growth, children gradually develop skills to regulate their intense emotions. Until they reach full maturity, it is the adult who plays this role: they must be very patient, supportive, and reassuring so that the child quickly regains their composure.

How to support the child?

• Encourage the child to use stress regulation techniques, such as helping the child take deep breaths.
• Help the child to recognize the emotion and name it.
• Let go if the adult feels they are losing control of their patience or emotions.

(Source EPEPE)

To go further

• Summary on emotions on the encyclopedia of early childhood development 
• Summary on Aggression on the encyclopedia of early childhood development 
• Possible solutions to find out how to react to a child's emotions (anger, sadness, etc.)
• See the Isabelle Filliozat's lecture, psychologist and psychotherapist, specialist in emotions during his visits on board the Early Childhood and Parenthood train on "rage outbursts in the light of neuroscience"« 

Our articles on the same topic

• Emotions in children
• How can we help a child better manage their emotions?
• Why help a child name their emotions?
• the emotional survival guide
• the major feature “Routines and emotions