Last modified on 6 September 2024
The injunction to be a good parent This pressure can be overwhelming and can trigger physical and mental exhaustion, and in some cases, parental burnout. Why this pressure? How can we end this feeling of never doing enough? And where can we find help? We will try to answer these questions.
Parental burnout: the myth of the good parent
Being a good parent, Being a good parent isn't about being a perfect parent, and besides, what is a perfect parent anyway? It's not possible, and it's not what your child will want. Being a good parent could be summed up as meeting their physical, emotional, and safety needs.
Pervasive parental pressure
Every day, we are confronted with idealistic and, above all, distorted visions of the parenting On TV, in advertisements, series, social media… Even if it's mostly unintentional, the models we see have become standards to strive for, standards that are often unattainable for most parents. And let's not forget that we don't see everything. Social media, advertisements, and other media very often show us the positive side. This kind of pressure can be stressful and lead to self-doubt. our parenting skills.
It's normal to compare yourself to other parents and to feel guilty when you can't do everything you want for your child. However, don't doubt your abilities; you'll learn something new about parenting every day.
The expertise of healthcare professionals and the wealth of information
For the past few years, progress and research have allowed better understand children. Like the major stages of a child's development (senses, motor skills, attachment bonds, brain function, etc.). All this information is easily accessible to everyone. Parents today have never been so well-informed, and yet many are completely lost.
Between education, development, and teaching methods, how can we sort through it all and apply the advice that is truly relevant for ourselves and our children?
The studies carried out stem from good intentions, but they create a bias in parents. pressure to succeed Checking off all the given goals to help your child be the best is not always applicable to their own reality. Depending on each child's personality, desires, mental load, time, etc., priorities for your child may change. For example, a passion for sports might be something you absolutely want to instill in your child, and you manage it for a year, but then Baby #2 arrives, your schedule changes, and so do your priorities! So allow yourself to adjust them. And remember, you are the ultimate decision-maker for your little one.
Recognizing parental burnout
Burnout, while recognized in the professional sphere, is still poorly understood in the family sphere. Yet this phenomenon is affecting more and more parents. But why?
Societal pressure, the search for unattainable perfection, The desire to always do better for one's child can trigger burnout and lead to physical and mental exhaustion.
Still a taboo subject, some parents are speaking out about this phenomenon and putting words to this unease.
To better understand it, here are some symptoms that may raise concern:
- Extreme fatigue;
- A feeling of being empty and emotionless;
- Difficulty in finding enjoyment in family life;
- Loss of self-esteem, etc.
Applications exist to determine one's level of parental fatigue and stress.
Solutions to combat burnout and parental pressure
Children's health also depends on your own health, so consult a specialist as soon as possible if necessary; they will be the most competent to find appropriate solutions.
Talking to your partner can also be a relief, and they can help you find solutions. Burnout doesn't appear suddenly; there are several stages, and it's a process that develops gradually.
Daily life with children isn't easy, and you'll probably experience doubts, fatigue, and/or feeling fed up. But here are a few tips that can help you cope:
- Lowering or prioritizing expectations, for example, preferring to play with your child rather than spending 2 hours preparing baby food, putting Baby in their bouncer while doing sports, leaving baby with grandparents to enjoy a moment alone or as a couple or with friends, etc.;
- Trust yourself. You are the most qualified to know what your child needs;
- Taking time for oneself;
- Investing time in other things: friends, sports, a passion,…
In short
A child is a life upheaval of someone and the emotions are multiple. Letting go is sometimes impossible because of this overwhelming feeling of perfection.
We are certain of one thing: perfection doesn't exist, and neither does the perfect parent. Everyone has made and continues to make mistakes, but isn't the most important thing the love shared with your child?
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